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Print Before Saying “Yes, I Do”
By Serena Wang, Translated by Henry Tung
A short article described the different reflections between men and women about marriage.□ The comparison was so true and fascinating, maybe you can relate to some of them.
Men’s Recollection on Love
First Impression: She is so beautiful, like an angel.
When Dating: She is the best girl in the entire universe, I have to marry her.
1st Wedding Anniversary: My wife has some minor problems and has trouble controlling her temper at times.□ But overall, she is pretty good and a fine helper for me.□
5 years into Marriage:□ She is becoming less attractive and difficult to deal with.□ I can’t stand it.
10 years:□ She is the ugliest and the most difficult person to deal with in the world.□ I must have been blind when I decided to marry her back then.
20 years:□ Sure, she has some weaknesses.□ But other than the bad temper, I can basically accept her for what she is.
30 years:□ Sometimes she is very thoughtful and considerate, appreciates the relationship and very well organized in daily activities.
40 years: My old partner is terrific.□ At home, she takes a good care of everything.□ Away from home, she can certainly do more than hold her own.□ If I get to live another life, I’ll definitely marry her again.
She passed away.□ I’m so sad that no words can describe, because I’ve just lost the finest woman in the world.
Women’s recollection of love
First Impression: He acts silly and looks stupid.□
When Dating: He is too direct and straightforward, but really listens to me.□ Will I be marrying him?
1st Wedding Anniversary: He is pretty decent; know his way around and very considerate.□ And he’s kind of cute too.
5th Anniversary: Hey, he is smarter than he looked, and has a variety of top-notch skills, quite an extraordinary piece of work.
10th:□ He is simply the greatest.□ I wouldn’t know how to live through a day without him.
20th:□ Well, there is not a lot to talk about him, just another guy I guess.
30th:□ He has so many bad habits…lazy, stubborn, and useless.
40th:□ This old lazy bone.□□ I wouldn’t marry this geek even if he’s the last man on the entire planet if I had another choice.
He passed away.□ This old guy ruined my life, and now just left me hanging like this.□
Love is blind.□ When young singles are in love, they feel that the other party is the best one in the world.□ After walking down the isle and going past the honeymoon period, however, this love can change with the blink of an eye.□ When you are dating, you must be rational when making the one decision that will change your life forever.□ Below are a few recommendations I have for all the singles out there.□ Before saying “Yes, I do”, be sure to take the time and look at the relationship from a purely rational perspective, then make that all important decision, and unite in a wonderful marriage together filled with tender, loving care.
1.□ Health:□ Health can make or break a marriage.□ If one partner has too many health problems it can cause the other person to suffer.□ The imbalance can cause the marriage to fail.□ Some health setbacks are genetic.□
2.□ Filial Piety:□ If you ever wonder how your partner will treat you in the future, that’s easy.□ Just pay attention on how he is treating his mother.□ Does he have a good relationship with his parents?□ Is he bitter about the relationship?□ Does he talk about his parents much?
3. Family Background:□ The Western culture has a phrase.□ “I married her, not her family”.□ That’s not necessarily true.□ At the wedding, both the groom and the bride’s family will be present.□ Why is that?□ Because they are part of them and vice versa.□ The family situation has a significant impact on the children growing up, and that impact will be much more visible once they reach adulthood.
4. Accept the Weaknesses:□ What is considered a weakness?□ Anything lacking in ethical values is a weakness.□ Others include doing things too fast or too slow.□ That’s more related to the personality but also is considered a weakness.□ Whatever this person’s weaknesses are, you must find out before walking down the isle.□ You must think about it seriously, whether you are ready to accept that for the rest of your life.□ Do not have the false hope of changing him afterwards, because that’s not going to happen.□ Realistically, you can only change yourself.
5.□ Fine Character:□ Do they have the courage to admit mistakes.□ As a famous Pastor’s kid once put it, “a successful marriage involves the work of two forgiving people”.□ No one is perfect.□ Throughout our lives, we are all going to make our share of mistakes.□ We may say something wrong or act in a way that will hurt the other person.□ The key is to have mercy, otherwise the marriage will be anything but joyful.□ Also, in our society filled with temptations, both parties must have absolute control of their desires.□ Our society has been sending this awful message “As long as you are happy, can do whatever pleases you.”□ A righteous man must hold his ground and never compromise his stance.□
~Serena Wang with MBA and MBS degree is the Director of