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Print Before Saying “Yes, I Do”
By Serena Wang, Translated by Henry Tung
A short article described the different reflections between men and women about marriage. The comparison was so true and fascinating, maybe you can relate to some of them.
Men’s Recollection on Love
First Impression: She is so beautiful, like an angel.
When Dating: She is the best girl in the entire universe, I have to marry her.
1st Wedding Anniversary: My wife has some minor problems and has trouble controlling her temper at times. But overall, she is pretty good and a fine helper for me.
5 years into Marriage: She is becoming less attractive and difficult to deal with. I can’t stand it.
10 years: She is the ugliest and the most difficult person to deal with in the world. I must have been blind when I decided to marry her back then.
20 years: Sure, she has some weaknesses. But other than the bad temper, I can basically accept her for what she is.
30 years: Sometimes she is very thoughtful and considerate, appreciates the relationship and very well organized in daily activities.
40 years: My old partner is terrific. At home, she takes a good care of everything. Away from home, she can certainly do more than hold her own. If I get to live another life, I’ll definitely marry her again.
She passed away. I’m so sad that no words can describe, because I’ve just lost the finest woman in the world.
Women’s recollection of love
First Impression: He acts silly and looks stupid.
When Dating: He is too direct and straightforward, but really listens to me. Will I be marrying him?
1st Wedding Anniversary: He is pretty decent; know his way around and very considerate. And he’s kind of cute too.
5th Anniversary: Hey, he is smarter than he looked, and has a variety of top-notch skills, quite an extraordinary piece of work.
10th: He is simply the greatest. I wouldn’t know how to live through a day without him.
20th: Well, there is not a lot to talk about him, just another guy I guess.
30th: He has so many bad habits…lazy, stubborn, and useless.
40th: This old lazy bone. I wouldn’t marry this geek even if he’s the last man on the entire planet if I had another choice.
He passed away. This old guy ruined my life, and now just left me hanging like this.
Love is blind. When young singles are in love, they feel that the other party is the best one in the world. After walking down the isle and going past the honeymoon period, however, this love can change with the blink of an eye. When you are dating, you must be rational when making the one decision that will change your life forever. Below are a few recommendations I have for all the singles out there. Before saying “Yes, I do”, be sure to take the time and look at the relationship from a purely rational perspective, then make that all important decision, and unite in a wonderful marriage together filled with tender, loving care.
1. Health: Health can make or break a marriage. If one partner has too many health problems it can cause the other person to suffer. The imbalance can cause the marriage to fail. Some health setbacks are genetic.
2. Filial Piety: If you ever wonder how your partner will treat you in the future, that’s easy. Just pay attention on how he is treating his mother. Does he have a good relationship with his parents? Is he bitter about the relationship? Does he talk about his parents much?
3. Family Background: The Western culture has a phrase. “I married her, not her family”. That’s not necessarily true. At the wedding, both the groom and the bride’s family will be present. Why is that? Because they are part of them and vice versa. The family situation has a significant impact on the children growing up, and that impact will be much more visible once they reach adulthood.
4. Accept the Weaknesses: What is considered a weakness? Anything lacking in ethical values is a weakness. Others include doing things too fast or too slow. That’s more related to the personality but also is considered a weakness. Whatever this person’s weaknesses are, you must find out before walking down the isle. You must think about it seriously, whether you are ready to accept that for the rest of your life. Do not have the false hope of changing him afterwards, because that’s not going to happen. Realistically, you can only change yourself.
5. Fine Character: Do they have the courage to admit mistakes. As a famous Pastor’s kid once put it, “a successful marriage involves the work of two forgiving people”. No one is perfect. Throughout our lives, we are all going to make our share of mistakes. We may say something wrong or act in a way that will hurt the other person. The key is to have mercy, otherwise the marriage will be anything but joyful. Also, in our society filled with temptations, both parties must have absolute control of their desires. Our society has been sending this awful message “As long as you are happy, can do whatever pleases you.” A righteous man must hold his ground and never compromise his stance.
~Serena Wang with MBA and MBS degree is the Director of