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Written by ChingYu Doran, translated by Eugene Wu
Have you ever noticed that there seems to be a continuing dialog of thoughts in your mind? Some people think that the dialog is a reflection of your own thoughts. Others call it the “inner dialog.” However fleeting these thoughts can have a real impact on your life.
Fleeting thoughts could determine the quality of your life
Many people believe that the way we feel and behave is deeply influenced by what happens around us. For example, we become angry when our children don’t behave, or we are despaired when scolded by our superiors. We are indeed influenced by our environment, but such external influence is far less important than what goes through our own mind! Some people may regard such a statement incredible or absurd, but good management of our thoughts can produce the quality of life we desire.
Consider this scenario: You have a candle-light dinner date planned with your husband and he is fifteen minutes late! You probably are beginning to feel rather annoyed by now. But why are you annoyed? It’s not being late by fifteen minutes that is upsetting, but rather the hidden thoughts about what this means. You might be thinking “he takes me for granted, he is not trustworthy, he is always late, or could it be that something has happened to him” However, these thoughts are of your own making and they have nothing to do with “his being late by fifteen minutes!” Such thoughts can very well spoil a beautiful evening – especially if he was only late because of traffic.
When you have a preconceived idea (like “he takes me for granted”) you are likely to find evidence to prove your point. It’s possible that when he finally appears, you might begin criticizing him for how he’s been taking you for granted. Then argument becomes unavoidable. On the other hand, if you are able to manage your thoughts and try not to attribute any extra meaning to his being fifteen minutes late, you could then accept his explanation of being late graciously.
How many times have you have been controlled by your thoughts without realizing it, and blamed everything on external factors? How much time you have wasted on getting angry, sad, or despaired over meaningless things without realizing the answer lies in how you manage a moment’s thought?
If you are unable to control your thoughts, you’re only choice is believing them
You may think that you cannot control your thoughts. That’s all right because many thoughts are come and gone in a flash without your being aware of their existence. For instance, when you see a car comes straight at you, you would unconsciously jump out of its way without the idea of “danger” ever entering into your thought process. But your reaction was directly related to avoiding that danger. Quick thinking under such circumstances is helpful of course.
But in most situations, certain thoughts often spoil the quality of our life before we know it. This is due to the fact that the thoughts of many people tend to be more negative than positive. For example, when the children don’t do their homework, you are convinced of their laziness, and the negative thought of irresponsibility always exceeds the positive thought of their becoming independent. When your husband buries himself in books and newspapers, the thought of being ignored always exceeds the thought of rejoicing in his diligence in pursuing knowledge.
But what do you do when your thoughts do not follow your wishes? The first thing about managing our thoughts is to accept their existence. Before you render any judgment or show any reaction to what happens around you, first ask yourself: “What made me react this way? Should I tolerate such thoughts?” If the thoughts that come to you couldn’t make you happier, stronger, or live more harmoniously with others, why should you believe in them?
The common and easily made mistake made by many people is simply treating all thoughts as truth. In reality, what you believe is but one of the many possible ways of looking at things. When what you believe begins to destroy the life you cherish, it’s time to restrain or get rid of those beliefs.
If you wish to maintain an active, cheerful, and tolerant spirit, you must be able to manage your fleeting thoughts well. Do not make light judgment or over-interpret what happens. Choose thoughts that are beneficial to you and others. Then gradually you will discover that your life will become more and more wonderful. This is like what the Bible says: “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” (Proverbs 4:23)
Live differently with different mind
In our life, we need to make lots of decisions. We need to know how to analyze and evaluate an issue with different points of view before we make final decision. Fears and uncertainty will be gone if we have confidence in our plan. Open up your eyes to look at things differently, and live differently.
Dear friends, God loves you. He wants you to live with hope and strength. He can help you to look at you life and your future from different points of view. Do you want to make a change in your life? Let God lead you. God cares deeply about you and wants to give you the strength you need to face your circumstances and the hope to face the future. If you are feeling alone or overwhelmed, it doesn't have to be that way. God loves you and wants you to have a relationship with Him. You can have the love and acceptance you are looking for in a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer. Praying is simply talking to God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. Here's a suggested prayer:
Lord Jesus, I want to know you personally. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life to you and ask you to come in as my Saviour and Lord. Take control of my life. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Make me the kind of woman you want me to be.
If this prayer expresses the desire of your heart, pray it right now and Christ will come into your life as He promised. If you invited Jesus Christ into your life, thank God often that He is in your life, that He will never leave you and that you have eternal life. As you learn more about your relationship with God, and how much He loves you, you'll experience life to the fullest.
We at Chinese Women Today would love to hear from you! If you prayed this prayer, please let us know. We will e-mail you some helpful information and respond personally to your questions.
